[Discussion] Calling People By Their Names or Not?

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Bit of a random thing here but as I’ve grown up I noticed I can’t seem to call people by their given names without becoming overly conscious or worried about it

Sometimes I wonder if it’s because I’ve been watching too much anime (haha) or if it’s something in my environment. For example, I cannot for the life of me, call any of my teachers by their names. In a sense this has become a “problem” in college since not a lot of teachers like to be called Professor XYZ. But I always feel rude if I call them by their first name because in elementary to high school that’s all we were allowed to call our teachers. It’s almost improper to call your teachers before college by their names and we’re usually corrected 

At first I thought this was only a problem I had in school. Figured it was because I had been going to school for 10+ years where Mr/Mrs/Ms were The Rule, but then I found that it extended further. At work I don’t feel comfortable calling my coworkers by their names if I don’t ask them for it, especially if their name sounds more like a nickname (#currentdilemma). I feel more comfortable calling them by their last names. And the same with bloggers and others online

Using myself as an example. I go by the name Crimson online but people also know me as Lisette. I probably wouldn’t feel comfortable saying Lisette because it has more of a personal feel to it

What about everyone else, how do you feel about names? Be it in the real world or online? Is it something you ever think about? Is it weird for a new blogger to just go to your blog or other social media site and be all ‘Hey Susan, your post was great’ even though you guys have never interacted before? Is it okay because it’s online?

17 thoughts on “[Discussion] Calling People By Their Names or Not?

  1. I call people as they wish to be called but I tend not to shorten people’s names unless they’ve specifically asked me to do so. Basically, older people get a Mr/Miss/Mrs treatment unless they’ve said to use their first name. Everyone else gets their full first name unless they’ve specifically asked otherwise.

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    • sometimes i try to do this but irl it’s kind of hard for me :”D and i know some people prefer not to have the mr/miss/mrs attached to their names but it’s so hard for me to break this habit, esp if it’s attached to a ‘professional’ (ie. teacher, professor, entrepreneur, officer, etc)

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  2. I TOTALLY relate to this! In real life, I just stay content by adding suffix/ prefix to older people’s names and nicknames only to those close to me.
    I introduce myself with my nickname to people I want to get close to or friends of those I’m already close to, but otherwise I refer to others and myself with my full name….
    Of course it may be because my full name is really complicated to pronounce and only a couple of people who speak my language can say it, never mind those who aren’t well versed with the language,haha.

    But in the blogging community, I feel REALLY awkward calling people by their real name… Their pen name is much more comfortable. And even then I feel better with adding suffix to them, especially in the anime community! (eg: Remy senpai; Crimson san; D san; Karandi san, etc.)
    More like, the suffix pops up when I’m writing to people, but just use their pen name when referring to them, I guess?

    Yes, I feel its weird if someone suddenly comes up to my blog and goes , “Hey ‘real name’ , that was great!”
    I would like it much better if they did,” Hey Auri, cool!”
    Auri or Aurora or Acacia , whichever….

    Well, I suppose if there were people younger than me, I would have asked them to call me Auri senpai; but as far as I know I’m the youngest, haha.
    I love that as well though, *low voice* I like calling others senpai.

    And since we’re talking about terms of respect anyhow, can I call you Crimson senpai?

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    • omg yes you can call me Crimson senpai xD I’ve never had a kohai before :”D

      i get that name thing too! my name isn’t /really/ hard but ppl tend to forget it because it’s uncommon or they mix it up with this other name that sounds similar so after some time I just tell ppl to call me by a nickname, regardless of who they are (it’s easier on them and I don’t have to keep correcting or awkwardly responding to a name that isn’t mine)

      there are a few peoples real names I know but i’m just so use to calling them by their blogging name that it feels more natural for me to call them that instead. and even just calling them by their blogging name when i’ve never talked to them makes me feel a bit like i’m intruding, which is weird because if you have your name in your about section and that’s what you’re going by, you’d assume it’s ok to call them by it (yet i still feel like i shouldn’t xD)

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  3. The professor thing in real life can be really confusing and awkward. But what I struggle most with is definitely blogger names. Some have, and I can’t exactly remember specific people, a title that sounds like a name, but then they have their own username under the blog. The struggle is endless.

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    • YES YES i was looking through some blog posts yesterday (hence this post) and there were people with blogger names that didn’t sound like names and i’m just like, do I refer to them like this? and then i’d go to their about section to see if there was something shorter and not like a sentence and would find a super normal name but then i’d be like, uhh am i allowed to call them this? xD

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  4. It’s a delicate balance. You want to show respect, but at the same time, a lot of teachers and coworkers see their job as a team effort, one where everyone is ranked equally. But at the same time, if I want them to use my preferred nickname, I should address them the way they want to be addressed.

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    • that’s true! i guess with coworkers i find it easier to address them by their names but only if they tell it to me xD right now there’s a supervisor, I only remember that a coworker told me his name but she said it’s a nickname because nobody can pronounce his name so i do feel a bit iffy about using it (even tho everyone uses it)

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  5. I come from an asian culture so you can already guess that calling elders by name isn’t respectful. But having moved to a western country i adapted by calling people whatever I have been told. Though sometimes teachers have nicknames and I refer to them as their nickname when talking to friends, but in front of them it’s weird.
    Another weird feeling is addressing my friends’ parents. Like when they ask me to call them by name I’m like ok………

    Liked by 1 person

    • Lol, I tell my mom about my day and I use Teacher when I talk about my teachers, I don’t even use their names, but w coworkers I do use their names but sometimes it feels weird, idk why

      oh man, i feel the same about parents but I’ve also never asked for my friends parents names before. if i ever need to refer to them i’ll be like ‘your mom/dad’ or ‘my friends mom/dad’ xD the only one i do address by name i call mr but he hasn’t said anything about calling him differently. he calls me by my nickname but he’s known me all my life xD

      i guess spanish affords me the option to not call people by their names and placing that distance/respect when i speak

      Like

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